RAPE IS NOT A CHOICE

Since I started my blog and urged people to talk to me pertaining to their mental health issues, I had a lot of captivating conversations with my peers and strangers. The most common & compelling was of molestation and rape. A lot of people have told me, in confidence of how their bodies were invaded upon, usually by someone they trusted and they have never told anyone. It has then become apparent to me that this is a conversation we hardly speak on.

Rape- The crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will.

Although rape is defined as forcing a person into sexual relations against their will, it is also subdivided into types : Acquaintance rape, Marital rape, Stranger rape etc. These “classifications” of rape have made the act seem less real or viable unless it happens to a woman who is dressed inappropriately and walks down a dark alley.

In 2015, in a political rally in Midlands Zimbabwe, then First Lady Grace Mugabe proclaimed that if a woman was dressed inappropriately, any sexual misconduct against her would be her fault.

“If you walk around wearing mini skirts displaying your thighs and inviting men to drool over you, then you want to complain when you have been raped? It’s unfortunate because it will be your fault,” she said.

Most victims of rape and assault fail to come forward because they are afraid of how people would react. The first questions would always be “what where you wearing” & “where were you” because it’s always automatically assumed that the victim provoked the perpetrator or put herself in a position to be raped.

It’s important to acknowledge that a survivor does not owe anyone a convincing story. Each brave victim who comes forward with their rape story deserve empathy and to be heard. I’m not disputing how there have been cases of women falsely accusing men of raping them but we can’t condemn every woman of that crime. Proper investigation into the case without slandering the victim is a basic human right.

You’d be shocked by how many girls and women have been raped behind the closet. Most women that have come out publicly blaming prominent figures for their rape have been scrutinized and humiliated without valid evidence to show they’d been lying. This has discouraged a lot of people from speaking out against rape.

Society needs to address how we view rape, how we treat rape victims and whether or not we encourage people to speak up about rape. Blaming the victim is an act of support to the rape culture, people shouldn’t have to find ways not to “provoke rapists” RAPISTS SHOULDN’T EXIST.

A person can be raped by their guardian, friend, boyfriend and even husband. Any act where someone is forced into sexual relations without their consent is rape. Don’t tell someone they had it coming, don’t tell someone they should have worn better, don’t claim to know what someone really went through because you don’t. It’s demeaning.

Women also need to understand that rape is a very sensitive topic, lying that someone raped you when they didn’t is a great cost to their reputation and to the credibility of actual rape victims out there. The more fake accusations are thrown out the less the real accusations are given proper notice on.

I’ve come to realize that a lot of girls and women have been assaulted and haven’t spoken up about it simply because they know the backlash they’ll receive from people not believing. Apart from this, there can never be appropriate punishment for a rapist.

When someone is exposed to rape, their temple is invaded, rape leaves a great emotional strain on someone and makes them uncomfortable in their own body. They have a hard time trusting men, God or the system. What great punishment could one possibly get for inflicting such damage on another individual? Some rape victims fail to speak up because they believe there can never be enough justice. In many instances after someone is raped and “justice is served” the perpetrator moves on with their life and the victim is left to subdue physical, emotional & psychological trauma.

Let’s normalize encouraging our young girls and women to say their truth. A survivor does not owe anyone a convincing story. Let’s stray away from the mentality that the victim is to blame. Society needs to stop protecting prominent male figures when their accused of rape without carrying any investigation. NO MEANS NO.