And Ode To Me & You

The reason.

The reason they hate you is because you loathe you,

The reason they mock you is because you can’t say anything nice about yourself,

The reason that boy called you fat is because you made a smirky remark about your weight gain,

The reason you cry yourself to sleep is because you get off on misery,

The reason your life is miserable is because you manifest sadness upon your life.

I wish,

I wish I could tell you it gets better,

I wish I could magically make you love ourself and take away your sorrows,

I wish I could tell you that the stretch-marks upon your skin are nothing but a watermark for the masterpiece, you.

I wish I could make you love yourself and give you some of my self confidence,

Darling, I wish I could heal you, but I can’t.

But I wasn’t there,

I was never there when your self esteem was squashed and you felt worthless,

I was never there when depression and anxiety played tag of war with you and almost tore you apart,

I was never there when you looked your self in the mirror, bloodshot eyes, wondering why you weren’t good enough,

I was never there when your friends laughed at your hefty depression weight loss after fatshaming you all your life,

I was never there in your darkest moments, but you didn’t die.

Manifest.

I want you to manifest happiness upon your life,

Manifest, joy, forgiveness, positivity and self love,

Nobody was brought to this world to heal you, nobody was brought to lift you up from your darkness, because nobody put you there,

Manifest the bad days away and invite the better days within,

Manifest self confidence and immense healing upon your life,

Rise up from the idea that another person has to help you, nurture you and heal you because they don’t.

Remember

Your poise & assertiveness will come off as a threat to those that fed off your insecurities & self loath,

Your healing will come off as a threat to those who hurt you,

Your mistakes will come off as an abomination to those hell bent on misunderstanding you.

Let go,

Let go of versions of you that romanticize your tormentors,

Emancipate yourself from the belief that in order to be acknowledged you have to dim your light ,

Stop shrinking yourself in order to try fit into places you’ve long since outgrown.

When the caterpillar reaches its end game,

It stops eating,

It digest itself while it slowly morphs into a butterfly,

What is said to be the endgame for the caterpillar is the beginning for the butterfly.

So remember dear beloved ,

the beginning of an end is a beginning nonetheless,

It is not mandatory to take a lesson from trauma, heal.