Chocolate flavored MISOGYNY

People mistaken misogyny as this deep intense hatred fostered by men for women. By definition, misogyny really does sound like that but what about those subtle societal standards, principles, and expectations that are clearly prejudiced against women? What do you call it when the system holds women to a certain standard to which it doesn’t men? What do you call it when you still make your girls feel like their existing in a mans world? Are you participating in chocolate flavored misogyny?

So, this once, I was tasked with looking for a topic to discuss on and I wanted to talk about women’s oppression and the patriarchy, my teacher, a man, dismissed me and said such topics are no longer relevant because women have already fought for their place in society he said, women are now equal. “You are here, getting an education, patriachy is not an issue anymore.” So I retreated. As I grew older and grew more understanding I often ask myself why this man said the topic is not relevant anymore. Do women not matter anymore? Have all the problems surrounding the patriarchy and misogyny being solved? How on earth did I allow this man to shut me down and tell me everything was okay? I blame myself. It was not me like to go down without a fight.

Misogyny to me is no longer intentional, misogyny has been instilled in our daily lives, opinions and societal standards. Misogyny exists in women, it exists in men, everyone is misogynistic to a certain extend because the patriarchy has been so embedded in our social, economic and religious structure so much it’s hard to tell which is still permissible anymore.

Culture/Society

“When men are oppressed, it’s a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it’s tradition.” LETTY COTTIN POGREBIN

To be able to survive in my society as a woman, you have to know how to cook, clean, do laundry and be respectful in hopes of getting a good husband in the future, and not embarrassing your parents for not teaching you chores. But you know times have changed right, nowadays you also have to be educated because no man will take a woman that isn’t educated, you have to be a certain way, behave a certain way and believe a certain way to be an accepted woman in society. The systematic misogyny fed to us from a tender age manifests itself in women bending over backwards to impress men, seeking protection love and attention from men.

You know what? The rule of nature is misogynistic. Nature dictates that the man is the protector, the woman is seeks protection from the man and takes care of him and bears offspring in return.

Religion

Everything I know about the patriarchy is encouraged by religion. Religion is patriarchy. Patriarchy is religion. Misogyny is so embedded in religion it hurts to watch. Our religious views are built up in such a way that makes men superior, so many feminists are only as feminist as their religion allows them. The backlash given to most women evading patriarchy is centered along religion.

“You need to respect your husband, even the Bible says it.”

Naturally, as a Christian, it is expected of me to submit to a man. They say If you submit to your man then he submits to God. It’s a hierarchy, that’s the way it is. I’m not arguing with religion, I’m stating the facts.

Religion offers a subtle form of sprinkled misogyny that is compulsory and very hard to fight against because how to you draw a line between your religious beliefs and fight for freedom?

Economy

Need I not go deep in this one. Sexism is not misogyny BUT sexism is a form of misogyny. Workplace sexism, the wage gap, all examples of how our economy is misogynistic. There is a pinch of misogyny in every aspect of our lives. The enforcement of standards that do not favor women is misogynistic on its own. Women either have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition or they get a form of ‘special pass’ because they are women and fragile and oppressed. The oppressed is given little incentives aimed to normalize the systematic misogyny instilled upon us.

Modern forms of misogyny are no longer as brutal or ruthless. Modern day misogyny is instilled in our daily lives and counter-parted with little incentives that dilute the misogyny. Misogyny is no longer only about hating women passionately, misogyny is now making the world hard to live for women. It’s now about the little practices and beliefs that serve as a reminder that a woman is not equal to a man. Misogyny is instilled in our homes, schools, churches, everywhere I look there’s misogyny.

Misogyny is not the patriarchy. Misogyny is the oxygen that helps the patriarchy thrive.