A GIRL WITH MANY HATS

I’ve always struggled with categorizing myself. Each time I think I’m one thing, I turn out to be the other. It’s a thing that I have, of constantly being fascinated by something new. I want to be a part of things, I’m curious about things, I am things. I wear many hats of different sizes, it’s who I am.

The Feminist Hat

You know, like on some days I’m a feminist, I truly am. On some days I want to attack patriarchy at its core. I want to break it down and tell every one I come across how they are contributing to patriarchy. Patriarchy makes me very angry and I would like to demolish it. On some days though, some days I let it slide. Some days I hate women. Some days I hate women but not in a misogynistic way. Some days I hate women for all they tolerate, some days I hate women for not being angry enough. Some days I hate women for all the things they have control over, but some days I don’t. If you know me then you’ll know this is the hat I struggle with most. It comes naturally but I don’t take the title. If you google search the phrase “I’m not a feminist” you’ll find my internet footprint.

The Anger Hat

I consider myself an angry person. I’m a very angry girl. I’m angry at the world, I’m angry at myself, I’m angry at you whose reading this post. I’m so desperate to see change in the world that it makes me angry when I don’t see it happen. I wouldn’t be half the person I am today if I wasn’t so angry. I’m angry because I want to see change, I’m angry because if I wasn’t angry I’d be angry at myself. So many things touch my heart, I want so many things to change. I want the world to be a better place and I get angry because I can’t do it all myself. It makes me very angry.

The Humanitarian Hat

I’m a humanitarian. There’s nothing I advocate for more than the welfare of humans. I love humans. I love you. I love to help. I’m all about social reforms and I’m in no way prejudiced to anyone despite their gender, religion or sexual orientation. I hate human suffering. I was born to help. I am a humanitarian. It is what I am. It is one hat I never take off, not when my efforts are not reciprocated, not when my heart is broken, not when I’m ill treated, not when I know I’m meant to help. Not when I’m alive. I’m a humanitarian.

The Artist Hat

I’m an artist. I’m done calling myself an “aspiring poet/occasional spoken word artist”. I’m an artist. It is what I am. I play with words. I write. I speak. I don’t know how or why, but I do. Things come to me, while I’m eating, sleeping, talking, crying, things come to me and I use words to interpret them. I am an artist. I’m not aspiring, I’m not trying anything. I simply am. I’m not scared either, fear doesn’t exist with me. I’m not scared of anyone or anything, I’m not scared of backlash. I’m not in the habit of undermining myself to help people feel good. I’m not. I’m an unapologetic artist. I really am.

I am a woman. A very feminine, beautiful woman with short hair. I’m Shingairai Chiratidzo Mavazhe, a girl with many hats.