Open Letter To Myself

DISCLAIMER:

A lot of people struggle with self hate, myself included. It’s hard to always love yourself when you’ve set so many expectations and promises for yourself. This is a letter I wrote to myself when I felt under the weather and I wanted to reassure myself. I’m only sharing it because I realize a lot of people often feel that way. We make promises to ourselves and somewhere along the way we become less consistent and show ourselves less compassion. This is to help you remember to be kind to yourself, to listen to yourself and to love yourself and save yourself. I promised I’d share my journey of self help & preservation and here it is.

Dear Shingairai,

there’s a journey you embarked on once, one of self love and preservation.

it was a beautiful journey.

when you embarked on this journey, you took a few people with you. you made wholesome content, you manifested upon your life, you worked so hard to understand and forgive yourself, you showed yourself compassion, you accepted defeat when you could and stood back up and persevered, you did what needed to be done, except one thing: consistency.

your intentions where pure, your heart was willing, you knew what needed to be done and you tried as much as you could but you too are human. you too get carried away, you too make mistakes, and that’s okay. normally, this letter would serve a purpose of blame, it would blame you and make you feel guilty. it would ridicule all the efforts you made and discourage any further progress. it really would, but not today. not this time.

the thing about growth is, even when you take a few steps back, it doesn’t eliminate the progress you’ve made. it’s not always easy, nothing ever is. but like i’ve always said, harboring feelings of self blame does nothing for you. no one will ever come and save you, only you. the responsibility is on you. you and only you is responsible for your wellbeing. everyone else just emulates how you treat yourself.

you took a break, a needed one perhaps. you became less consistent, you persevered a little less. you took some blows here and there, but here you are. a year older, wiser, smarter, better. a whole year later, you’re still here, you still live and breathe and eat. you are still you.

i’m proud of you. i’m proud of who you are & although it might not always seem like it, you are the best version of yourself to ever exist. a lot has happened to make you who you are today, you’ve succumbed a lot, you’ve lost a lot, you’ve gained a lot but mostly, you’ve understood yourself better. times aren’t always easy, you’re not one hundred percent but you are a figment of your past selfs imagination.

you’re who you never thought you could be but you are, you exist, & you’re great. your strength and resilience are unmatched and you will succeed. you will have better days, you will live to see another beautiful day. the sun has risen and you will see the fruits.

you can wipe away your tears now, you can take a breathe of fresh air now, you can let your guard down now, you can take a break now, you deserve it. the love you give is on its way to you. you are attracting, you are resonating what you want and what’s yours is going to find it’s way to you. the happiness you’re owed is on its way. step by step, day by day.